Are you having problems with your brother or sister? If you really want the rivalry to end, follow these tips:
1. Admit that there is a problem
It sounds obvious but often we lie to ourselves and others about why we don’t get along: “They live far away”, “I don’t like their boyfriend/girlfriend”, “I can’t stand their kids”…
2. Ask yourself what you have done to create the conflict
Reflect on the family dynamic that existed while you were growing up together. What roles did each of you have? What could have caused the problems that exist today?
3. Focus on what you do like about your brother or sister
What did you admire about your brother or sister when you were younger? Are there things you enjoy doing with them despite the problems?
4. Make the first move
Don’t wait for them to take the first step to fix things or you could be waiting for years. There’s no harm in you first showing the effort to resolve the conflict. If don’t do it, it later may be too late.
5. Be patient
Your attempts at reconciliation might not work. But if you never try you’ll never know what would have happened. Remember that it’s a process which takes time.
6. Be realistic
If you’ve never been best friends and your lives are now completely different, then you may never be. But you can find a happy middle ground.
7. Never lose hope
Some life events can bring about unexpected reconciliations. Some examples include: getting married, having kids, getting a divorce, disease, the death of a family member, etc. Sometimes, reconciliations can come with the next generation when cousins want to play together and siblings face each other again.
How is your relationship with your siblings? Share a little about it with us in the comments.